Sleep Problems
I am having problems with my sleep. Not only do I not want to sleep, but when I do sleep, I don’t get quality sleep. I now know why. Last month, I went to a sleep clinic and had a polysomnogram. I was actually diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea. I even have problems with central sleep apnea. Normally, I would go into the sleep clinic again and have for a CPAP titration, but a month ago, I had nose surgery. I have to wait until my nose fully heals before I can get the CPAP. In the mean-time, I must wait and remain sleepy. At least my primary care physician prescribed Provigil, so I don’t fall asleep behind the wheel on my 45 minute drive to work. I’ve had too many close calls that scared me silly. I am glad I’ve never been in a wreck due to falling asleep at the wheel, but I’ve come close.
I firmly believe that this sleep apnea is the cause of my rapid cycling of depression. My lack of sleep tends to coordinate with my depression cycles. The antidepressants seem to handle most of the major long-term depressions, but these rapid cycles typically last a couple of days and then go away.
Single-Mindedness
I was talking to my wife today and realized that when dealing with issues, I am rather single-minded. I can’t deal with more than one problem at a time. It’s hard for me to focus on both my health and my spirituality, while my health is a primary concern. Unfortunately, this means that my spirituality suffers. I wish I had the capability to deal with some of both simultaneously. Maybe its possible, but I haven’t found a way yet.
When I have too many things going on, I feel out of control. I get stressed. I get depressed. The spiral gets worse.
Maybe I need to trust God more and let him help me deal with depression and my health. Then I may be able to work on both at the same time. Hmmm…. This might be the answer.
